Facing adversity

A bomb blew up in Poso, Sulawesi. A distant land so far away it's hard to feel emotional about the event. Dysensitised. I'm not even sure I'm spelling it correctly. This country has had a fair share of bombs, terrorist attacks, natural disasters, corrupt government, etc. Anything.. you name it, and yet the people are still one of the loveliest in the world. With matural goodness and friendliness unimaginable.

As a nation, there is a culture of surrender and faith to a higher power and I think it's what makes this nation strong. Today is very much like that, too. One day away before a shoot and we were faced with uncertainty and so little time. There was finger pointing, resentment but at the end of the day, it's just about getting through another day. There'll be another shoot, another job, with another client. I tried to surrender and smile.. and then it got a little easier, one by one, one thing at a time.

I look absolutely shit. My dark circles around the eyes are beyond help of make up and I have to be up again in 4 hours. No, not just up. Up and functioning. Sigh. Red Bull and lots of Vitamin C I need.

May the Force be with me.

Staying sane

In the midst of stressful work environment, people deals with it differently. One particular director I'm working with now deals with it by doing two things: bitching about how things are supposed to be done (which mind you, only happens in utopia and hence, a job is NEVER done under ideal situation) and telling dirty jokes. Since all members of the team are male, except for me, the conversations can take very interesting turns. It is quite amazing the amount of innuendos that come possibly come on the most serious matter. Hearing it constantly for 12 working hours can be quite tiring, even if they're mostly funny. But since it's my director's way to deal with his stress - and keeping everyone's stress level minimal; I learned to shut my ears and IGNORE.

That's how I deal with my stress. Ignore what needed to be ignored.

Art

It is very easy to get bogged down by work. The reason why work is a paid occupancy is because you lose your calm, temper, and patience in dealing with its numerous aspects. For the last couple of days work has tried me too many times over; made me became the person I don't quite like. The damage is done though, all I can do now is look back and try to amend the mistakes I have made. It got to me.

But when I got home, and I played music and had a long hot shower everything began to have a different outlook. When I'm fresh I feel like I can take on anything. And reading poetry helps, too! I opened my copy of Federico Garcia Lorca and tried to read bilingually, even if I don't understand Spanish. I could pronounce it and by reading the English translation, the emotion came through. Amazing what great pieces of art can do to you as a person.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to art. It is unquantifiable by reason. What it does is evoke emotions and that is subjective to your own person.

Thank God for music. Thank God for poetry.

Ovulating

I don't party too often these days, but lately I feel my desire to go out for drinks escalates. Maybe it's that time of the month. Funny that, usually I'd get horny or get shopaholic symptoms... I guess in a way it is a bit like going back to your animalistic behaviour. I'm ovulating, therefore I'm looking for a mate.

Please don't take me literally. I'm not looking to get laid...
I'm just crazy bored, waiting to go home. It's been a long day.

A chance in life

A mate of mine told me about the Tony Abbott affair yesterday. A Health Minister for the Australian government who found a son he gave up for adoption 27 years ago, only to lost it again some short time after, because his then girlfriend apparently had a one-night stand with another man during the possible time of conception.

It brought up some adoption related issues to the surface. When you gave your baby for adoption, do you have the right to meddle into the child's life in the future? Even if only in the form of establishing contact? What rights do birth parents have after they give up the child?

Tony Abbott and his then girlfriend thought that they gave up a child. For 27 years, he wondered about his long lost son. He believed that he should not try to find him, unless the son wanted to find his birth parents. I think he's on the money...

Being a biological parent doesn't entitle you to claim ownership at a child's life. Especially once you've made the decision to give your baby up for adoption. I think what being a biological parent gives you, is a chance to take part in the wonderfully challenging and complicated world of parenthood. And like everything in life, you don't always have a second chance.

You take it and pray that you don't screw up.

Sick as a dog

I took a sickie yesterday to spend some time with my girlfriends who will be leaving for US tomorrow. Darn! I got a real sickie. Whilst I was supposed to be having fun, I was flying in and out of consciousness. I had a good time, but I could have better time. And today I was forced to go in to the office, simply for pure sense of responsibility. Oh, wouldn't it be easier if I just be a totally unresposible person; not a care in the world...

But hey, today my new JBL on tour speaker arrives from Singapore. Yay! It's a beautiful mini portable speaker. Sigh. I love technology.

Dragonfly

Dragonfly
Originally uploaded by Spunkycynth.

Random Conversation

On Thursday, I had the most fun with the greatest conversations ever...

E : When you reach enlightement, you face a problem with intellect. You see them fresh..
R : I think you should be a Buddhist. Because they never fight with each other, they promote kindness to everyone
C1: After you reach enlightement? Then what...
R : Drinking water is sexual pleasure.
C1: What?
R : Yeah, sexual as in pleasure for the senses not sexual the fornication kind
T : I didn't use to, but I began to like Kirsten Dunst
E : No one is on the same league with Sean Connery in ageing. No one beats the Lauren Bacall, Monica Belucci..

They're random and even when you're there they still hard to follow. These conversations required serious intellect and it was very nice to see so many of them on display. You just have to be there..

I'll never drink water the same way again.. :)