Better

It gets better. You just have to give it time. If it's playing in a cinema near you, make time to go and watch THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY.

Human stories are the best stories of all. The best thing about TDBATB is not only the remarkable story of Mr. Bauby's 'locked-in' syndrome and his attempt of self-expression, but the lightness of how the story was told. There was no tear jerking moments, time of pity, only amazement and point-blank reality. It is heartfelt, soulful and at times, funny.

It's a condition that forces you to live in solitude; literally because you're almost always in conversation with yourself. When you are alone, you can not help thinking about where we are, and how we turned out to be the human being we never desired to be. The various twists and turns mess you up, puts you down, swirl you around to become somebody else. You might not like who you become.

All of a sudden the world is seen through a different view point. The camera work lent us Bauby's vantage point. We felt Bauby's desperation because we see his tears on screen; because the image gets blurry. But we regain focus and life goes on. In Bauby's case, he went on to tell his story, got it published and then died.

Sundays

My Sundays were always the best days.
A perfect combination between solitude and company.
There's nothing like a bit of art, like this swinging chandelier
at the National Museum of Singapore.

Or hanging out with world-class jazz pianist
over good jazz and even better wine.

High-er Expectation

There are 'better countries' where one would have higher expectations about most things. Better sanitation, better air, better traffic, better infra structure, better economy, better life style, better service, better education, better water, better food, better... better... better. The assumption of better does not always mean that you will like it more. It's just a general acknowledgement that certain things are better here than in other places. In Asia, it is in countries like Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong, and Singapore that you would most likely to make the above assumption. Certain things are supposed to be better.

I went into a bank grumpy looking at the long queue, but realised that I had no choice but to join the crowd and waited for my turn. The queue was moving rather quickly and the bank tellers seemed to be moving swiftly and efficiently. The afternoon was not going to be wasted after all. It did. A bunch of my foreign currency notes failed to pass 'the machine' and the teller could not tell me why.

Bank dude:I've explained to you that we can not take notes that the machine did not pass.
Me: I know. I understand, but what is it that the machine looks for?
Bank dude: We can only run them in the machine once. I already told you.
Me: I know. I understand that bit. Are you saying that these bills might be counterfeit?
Bank dude: I'm not sure. I just can not take your bills.
Me: Huh?!

The guy who served me was incapable of thinking, or responding out of the box. The great machine cleverly programmed the humans behind the counter a set of questions and answers. It was as if in the name of efficiency that the human was stripped of the one thing that makes them human; the ability to think independently and make judgments by comprehending certain situations.

My better assumption was completely wrong. Or is it that I have too high of an expectation? I missed out the fact that sometimes when things are too orderly, we lack the creativity to assess a situation and coming out with a solution. What seems to be better, might not work after all.

The Weekend

The weekend came with a cloud of blues over my head. The thought that I'd have no one and no events to go to, sent me to gloomy mood. This what comes with a fresh new start; new place, newly (yet to acquire friends), new activities. My second weekend comprise of me-activity, me-time. No more complaints of not having enough time for myself. Sunday came with blazing warm sun and cooling breeze, that I just had to go out. Even if only to walk around and do nothing. I ended up in the National Museum of Singapore, without much expectations. I'm not particulary interested in the history of this country, nor the details of its making. It was to my surprise that I found fun, thought-provoking works of contemporary art by local artists greeting me in the museum. There were several installation works that tickle minds about our relationship with the environment; a play of the mundane, image and false perception. It was a very pleasing surprise. Often the best things in our lives happen in the least expected moment.

There was hardly anything special in spending a Sunday afternoon in a museum, nor was it extraordinary to have a latte after walking the halls of the gallery. What makes things special in life is when we are able to appreciate the so-called little unimportant things, the mundane that is often overlooked and be grateful for them. Not so much for the things themselves, but more for our ability to notice them; to learn to see things with fresh eyes and smile at the tiniest moment. Yes, that latte in the museum (though rather pricey) was a very good one... and the whole afternoon at the museum put a big smile on my face until today.

Lost In Abbreviation

I finished the third day of my new employment still feeling excited. Good, I thought. I have not regretted my decision, nor having second thoughts. The work is completely new, completely incomprehensible, and the new jargons and details transported me to another world. We're an entity (EVO) which is part of a bigger company (EBU) which has a main system (EOS). Our head office is in Europe (GNV), and we operate out of Singapore (SGP). We have a sister office in London (ELL), and run a global satellite network which is monitored 24 hours by the master control (EVC). My first transmission was a tape playout (TPO) going to Tehran (IRBA).

When asked how I was, my reply was "I'm lost in abbreviation."

Abbreviation, like the greek symbols often used in mathematics, the material codes in chemistry or even morse codes, have a specific purpose. It is like learning a different language in a foreign country. A language is the door of a culture. Learning a few sentences might give you a peek of what's inside, but it takes a mastery of a language to truly appreciates the content behind that door. When we visit a foreign country, or encountering something new, the face of the unknown often conquers curiosity and beats thirst for knowledge. It deters us from finding out and reduces us to passers-by.

When asked how I was today...

T: So, how is it? Clear as mud?
C: No, it's better now. It's as clear as mud after a drizzle.

It is still not clear, but there is not many dirt. And THAT is progress.

NEW IN 2008

"Time flies", is a really old saying. As years gone by, I'm beginning to really understand how true it is. 2007 was a really good year and here are a few highlights:

• I was involved in the development of Indonesia's market from scratch. The market grew with the team; the excellent new people I had the privilege to mentor. Working with them and watching them grow professionally must had been one of the best thing last year.
• There's nothing better to be grateful about acquiring new friends. Last year was a pivotal point in going into a new level of friendship.
• Siem Reap, Phnom Penh and Ho Chi Minh -- 2 weeks of bliss. That should speak for itself.
• New job, new country, and new beginnings at the end of 2007.
  
• Learning to surrender, to believe and to have faith.
  

2008 is a new year, and it is new in many ways than one for me. It is the first time I work overseas, move overseas. It's the first time being in Singapore. It's the first time of everything. The year of firsts.