Dec 7, 2007

My Melbourne house mate Marsha and her fiance, Claude visited end of last year. Here's some photos of our night out (since they were only here for a few days). The date is set for December 7, 2007. I'm excited. It's good to know when you'll be traveling again. It is for me. It will feel like going home. Once again.

What a girl needs...

Let's talk about sex. For once, let's just be open and blunt and talk about it. Let's admit that people needs it for various different reasons, both physical and emotional. Let's stop pretending that it's not a topic to be talked about in the open. Let's take off our judging hat and our sensible minds and talk about sex.

SEX.

Much like the series Sex And The City, girls talk about sex a lot of times. The lack of it, the excitement and the emotions that come with it. A girlfriend with relationship problems admitted in a very low voice that her guy had not touched her for more than 10 months. She could not look at us in the eyes when she said the words. As a woman, it made her feel inadequate. She tried to find an answer, but couldn't come up with one. Another friend plainly said, "Oh that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. He's just getting it somewhere else." Her eyes widened in disbelief. Her guy, her knight in shining armour. He's a man after all.

Why is sex so important to some people? Let's see... Extreme physical pleasure? Provided one has an orgasm, it is definitely a good feeling. But as human beings, we are deeply emotional whether we like it or not. The physical is closely linked to the emotional. The art of looking at someone; a total stranger who catches the eye raises desire. A feeling of wanting. In receiving the look, one feels desired. A feeling of wanted. An ego boost.

I think at the most basic level, sex is physical gratification. Please don't mistake sex with intimacy. It is no way near it. I'm simply talking about the sex as an act; out of context. Although having said that, I reliase that it is impossible to disregard various factors involved like emotions, economics, religion, and other socio-cultural aspects.

Going back to my friend. Her problems were not just sex. Like serious marital problems, they were rooted in darker corners and them not having it, was just a result from all of the above. Many months later, one divorce and one drink too many she finally got laid. She had a gorgeous boy who gave her pleasure, and not only that... she actually really likes him.

At the risk of over simplifying things, sex makes you feel good. Generally. When done with the right person, for the right reason, at the right time. Sex shouldn't be the only thing responsible for your happiness, nor should it become the measure of a good relationship. Sex should only be one of the many things that are important in a relationship. It is as important as the look you get when you put on that sexy underwear, or the hand that reaches out for you across the table at dinner time, or the toe that tries to find you under the blanket, or the laughter you hear on the other line when you tell a joke. I could go on and on and on...

And I should stop here, because it's no longer about sex. It has become sex and all the other things that a girl needs...

Self Service

For as long as I can remember, all households in Jakarta have a maid, or two, or three and more. Everybody has a maid, even if you're not that well-off. Don't think about mansion-like houses and huge gardens to tend to. A 70 sqm house would have a maid...

When I grew up, I remember this maid from central java who took care of me when I was a kid. We moved house and started employing another girl for about 5-6 years until she decided to get married with the next door's neighbour's maid. She quit, but not before training her future husband's little sister to become our maid. The Christian Maid's Family Dynasty started then. Her husband became our driver until now. The little sister worked for us for about 10 years before she, too got married with another neighbour's maid. She got married, but this time no replacement. We endured 12 months without one, until my mom couldn't hack it anymore and asked my old maid; my driver's wife to come and work for us again. She comes in the morning and leaves in late afternoon much like a 9-5 job.

Yesterday over coffee, I found out that one of my staff doesn't have a maid. A family with 3 children still living under one roof. With no maid. I was amazed! The last time they had a maid was when she was about 13 yro. That was 13 years ago... "Our old maid passed away and we just couldn't bear the thought of replacing her with another person. We just kept on going. Every Saturday we had to clean up the house. It's a routine."

It is nice and convenient to have a maid, but it is not impossible not to have one. Now I live in a shared household with a maid who only shows up if we call her. That's nice. It's almost like having an elf in the house. The house work is done, but we feel like we're the only ones in the house.

Do we really need a maid? I guess if you're with young children and both parents work, it makes a lot of sense. It is better for many families to live on double income, even if it means that they have to pay someone to take care of the house and children. The trade off is to live with a stranger -- hey, I can take that anytime. I live with practically two strangers now...
I like having a maid. I know I don't have to. But that also means that I'm giving employment to those in need. And the argument goes on...

Strange Encounter

How one meets a friend is always an interesting story. After shower in the gym this morning, I struck a conversation with this girl with a Shirley Temple ringlets. She just had a shower herself and trying to "style" her hair into a desired ringlets. My accent roused her curiousity and she asked, "Where are you from?" The 10,000,000 dollar question in Cynth's life. "Ehmm, from here. You know, Indonesia." She looked at me and gave me a-i-don't-really-believe you kinda look. As usual I went on to explain how I used to study overseas, yadda yadda yadda.

Her name is Anna Lieke. She's from Holland. She is here researching the Dutch insitution for juvenile delinquency in early 20th century for her PhD. One thing lead to another and we just started talking non-stop which resulted in me dropping her off at the National Research Centre around the corner and giving her my business card. "You're the first Indonesian woman I know who drives. Everyone else seems to have a driver." I don't know how many Indonesian women she knows. It can't be very many.

"Maybe we could have a drink sometime...", she said as she grabbed her bag out of my car. Yes, that would be lovely. Hopefully it would happen soon. It's cool to just have that kind of impulsive encounter. Nice. Refreshing.

One week ago

They say time flies when you're having fun. Indeed. HK was so much fun; not because I got to see places or shop or do fun stuff but because work was gooood. I know. I suck. I get too much pleasure out of work it's not even funny. It was the same feeling I got when I was in our LA office and getting to know the business. This trip I got to know my regional colleagues and learned about the other offices in the region. It's exciting. We almost always ate too much, and work too much. I have nothing more to say about this trip on the risk of sounding like a workaholic, so I won't. I'll just leave you with some photos from the trip.

This is my favourite.