Are you a forgiving person?
I used to think that I am, until one day when I got really upset that the anger stayed with me for a really long time. Anger lingered for a few months, then it turned into bitterness and before long, it evolved into a dark, evil feeling impossible to shake off. It was buried at a corner ready to strike poisonous hate venom.
What is it about forgiveness that makes it really hard to do? Probably because to hate is much easier than to love. To be able to forgive, we must overcome ourselves and let love takes over. We need to let go of all the hurt that came with the deed that made us hateful and angry and unable to forgive, before we can forget and move on. And we all know that letting go is never easy. Often it is more than anger, but also the desire for revenge that is holding us back. And oh, don't forget disappointment; not only to the person you hate but also to yourself, for being such a poor judge of character, for misplacing your trust, yadda yadda yadda.
But you know what? To love is supposed to be easier, and it actually is. You need to recognise what you need to do. Realisation is the first step. Then it was the initial contact: the phone call, the email,... And the final gesture, an actual meeting. I'm a great believer in action that speaks louder than words. Therefore it is important to look at this person (...that you're supposedly hate) with nothing but affection. It is the only way to prove that forgiveness is not simply lip service. You need to be able to feel it first in yourself, before you can say it, or do whatever it takes to get over your nemesis.
You do feel better afterwards. Trust me, I know.
15 years ago
