Forgiveness

...through my best friend's wedding

I have not been writing for a while. Many things happening of late, but I've been lacking of angles. One of my favorite event last week was my best friend's wedding. Exactly 12 months ago, I was in the US for two (... not only one) of my best friends' weddings. Other than the hassle of finding the right dress, the pretty shoes and traveling to other countries, I actually love weddings. Especially when they belong to my best friends.

That Sunday afternoon in the church, Nic looked calm and beautiful and more importantly, she looked ready. I remember thinking how amazing it was that she finally stood at the altar with her man. I remember the many moments of heartbreak and heartache; of long telephone calls full of anger, gallons of tears and the many unpleasant past relationship stories.

As far as I could remember, Nic has always looked for a permanent fixture in her life. She wasn't like most of us, who enjoyed the courting, dating and the games with boys; she was pretty steady. Whenever she was in a relationship with someone, she always aimed for the grand finale. Not to say that she gets in a relationship thinking of marriage, but she definitely has that in mind as a destination. There were several times that I thought she would marry already; with the guy before her husband, and even the guy before that. Like I said, she went through heartbreaks and heart ached but continued living. Finally, last Sunday the grand finale arrived.

I guess what matters when you truly want to move on past bad relationships is to learn about forgiveness. And real forgiveness, I think, is about acceptance. To quote Allan Heinberg, "Letting go of the hurt feelings -- or more precisely the ego blows -- we experience when our lives -- and the people in our lives -- don’t behave the way we want them to. Which, let’s face it, is most of the time. But if we can somehow recognize and accept ourselves and others for who we are -- without judgment -- those “hurt feelings” fade away and are replaced by what feels a lot like forgiveness."

This post has come a long way from its opening; of my best friends' wedding. That wedding symbolised how far she has walked the relationship path; how much she learned about forgiveness, to able to set herself free to learn to love another person. Because really, you need to be all about love, to love.