How well do you know someone before you can make a good judgement of character? If you happen to be wrong, is it a case of bad call? Or people simply change?
It has always been instinctive for me. I have a certain "people radar" that protects me from people -- It doesn't always pick up vibes from everyone, but rather it picks up bad vibes and warn me to be careful. It has been argued that the "radar" can be mistaken, especially when there is emotion involved. When it comes to love and relationship, the radar might not work as well for various reasons. It might worked and be ignored, or it might be giving wrong signals.
Recent break ups in various relationships in 2006 brought me to the questions above. When one is about to put one's heart at stake, is seemingly good character enough? Is our judgement good enough? Or do we need to seek validation from our closest ones? How much does validation from others influence our decision? When we are in love (... or at least think that we are) can we be trusted to judge someone else's character?
We'd like to think that our decisions to be with someone are informed decisions; made not under duress, cleared from the flowery mist of love. But good decisions don't always give a happy ending, more often than not there are tears and heart break. Unfortunately there is no easy answer for the many questions above.
Tears and heart break never fails to teach us something about other people. Pain and loneliness make us appreciate small acts of kindness from others. When people change, we learn to adapt and accept people for the way they are. Only when these things happened to us we can hope that we would be better judge of characters. That next time, it would be less painful and a little more easier.
We can only hope...
P.S. For my girls who are continuously searching for that little bit of hope..
15 years ago
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