Food for Love

The thing about family is, you can't choose it. You're born into it without prior knowledge of how well-off they are, how educated, how funny or even how loving they are. Most of us have heard stories of family feuds, siblings who no longer speaks to each other, backstabbing relatives and broken homes. Life can be easy or difficult with family. Christmas is one of those occasions that celebrates family and togetherness. It is also the holiday that makes or breaks a family. How can it not? When everyone travel in packs, consuming and sharing, seriously living the notion of 'the more the merrier'. The various characters, numerous good intentions and even more ways of doing things can put serious strains on relationships. This Christmas, we traveled into my dad's home town in Central Java with some of my mother's siblings (more of that travel here).

Like most Indonesian families I know, food is an important element of celebration of togetherness. Not exquisite Christmas lunch or 5 courses of dinner spread over fancy table clothes and glowing candles, but just simple good food in abundance. It's always been about 'family style' -- where food is served in the middle, and everyone gets some from the same plate. It's about fighting for the last piece of meat because it's so good. It's about sharing a dessert because you want to have a room for seconds.

We have it easy, though far from perfect... There is genuine care and love for everyone, near and far, young and old. Like most Indonesian families, we're not very good in expressing our deepest emotions with words. Culturally emotionally reserved, action needs to speak louder than words in my family. It is why I woke up at 8am to have breakfast when all I wanted was to sleep in. It is why I did not mind waking up in the middle of the night because my 4 year old nephew's foot is on my face. It is why I accept the reality of a tiring Christmas holiday, because they needed to see my actions, my involvement, my presence in the tiniest little activity planned as signs of love.

Because I do. I love my family and I wanted them to know, the best way they know how. Because they will never ask the question, "Do you love me?" but hope that you make it to the next Christmas dinner.