The 30 blues

Somebody asked me a few weeks ago about how it feels to be 30. At the beginning of the month I joined the 30's club and marked the crossroad that comes with it; note... 'marked' not 'crossed'. Life is an on-going journey and birthdays are not always the most accurate measure of where you are. The long and winding road presents many routes to the destination, with variation of bridges and rivers to cross. The mountain path calls to distract and I, am easily lured for wanting to taste, see and feel everything.

I used to think that it was lack of focus blamed on youth and inexperience; something that will diminish as years add up in your life. I dread adulthood (...and 30 is an adult number) and secretly hope that all I have to do is close my eyes that night and wake up an adult. I want to wake up with all desires to venture and explore and going with the flow, replaced with responsibility, focus and determination. You know, something a bit more.... adult!

Days gone passed and the 30 tag forever stuck. There was no magic wag of the wand that transported you to adult-dom. I still struggle with the daily challenges of being a single girl, 30 and all, with not much means for the future. If anything, at least I'm aware to certain adult-like responsibilities and trying my best to deal with them without losing myself. There's nothing worse to be a totally different 30-year-old Cynth. Now, THAT would just be wrong...