Lonely in America

Is loneliness a real problem in this world? Recent events had led me to think about this matter more. Where the boundaries of the world are diminishing, so are people's sense of security and comfort. The opening of the unknown creates an alienation which highlights how lonely we really are. The hustle and bustle of this world push us in one corner; where we desperately hanging to the things that we know -- our race, our gender, our nationality, our religion, anything at all. We look for things in common so we don't feel so alone. There's no telling where we can find similarities with others.

This is an example of how lonely people are -- throwing things out there to see if there's another feeling as lonely as they are:

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I found your profile online here and thought I would
take the chance to contact you. My email
address is: ********@yahoo.com. I would
greatly appreciate the opportunity to know you.

I am looking for a lifetime partner, someone with
whom I can share my happiness. But I am also
looking for friends, as well. I live in a small house
with a large garden. Gardening is one of my
hobbies. I have rose bushes, dwarf fruit trees
(orange, tangerine, cherry, peach, nectarine,
kumquat, etc.) lots of other flowers. I also make
great desserts and I am an excellent baker. I like
to water ski, play tennis, ice skate, hike, go to the
beach and I am a voracious reader (mostly non-
fiction).

My parents are retired and still live in Iowa where I
grew up. Iowa is in the Midwest of the U.S. and is
farm country. I also have 4 sisters, all married and
8 nieces and nephews. Two were adopted from
Korea. My sisters all live in the Midwest too, near
my parents.

When I was a child, I would work on my
grandfather's farm in summer and during harvest
season. I guess this is why I like to garden.

I am 2000 miles away from my family, as I live in
Oakland, CA. Oakland is just a few minutes from
San Francisco where my law office is located. I live
close to the ocean, although most of the time the
water is too cold to swim in. I do go to the beach
frequently or hike along the cliffs and sand by the
beaches. There are hundreds of miles of hiking
trails here. The Bay Area is very scenic. The
weather never gets too hot or too cold. 200 miles
from here are mountains.

I am compassionate, patient, romantic (that is why
I grow roses), have a corny sense of humor,
knowledgeable about the world, and very
intelligent. I do not drink, smoke or do drugs of
any kind.

I am not your typical American. I represent the
poorest in our society. Even though we are a rich
country, tens of millions are living in poverty. These
are the people I serve. Even in the Bay Area there
are over 600,000 poor people. My agency is a
Legal Aid and we are the lawyers that are
supposed to represent them. It is an impossible
task. We have seven offices and about 80 staff, but
we have more possible clients than we can
possibly help. I primarily assist abused women
with divorces, custody, etc.

I also do media work as well. I am also our
Communications Director/Media Coordinator. I
write our newspaper column and occasionally do
radio and TV to let the public know that not all is
well in America.

If you have other questions for me, feel free to ask.
Tell me more about yourself. Anything you want
to tell me is appreciated. Have you ever been to
the U.S.? I was in the Philippines in November
2004 and in Singapore and Malaysia in 2001.

I look forward to hearing from you if you would like
to know me.

A journey of 10,000 miles begins with a single
step. Please take that first step by writing back to
me.

Or are they simply American? Hahahaha... Bad joke, I know. I'm sorry. And no, I don't join any online dating service or anything like that.

Public Love Story

A few mornings ago the radio was in full blast as I was driving into work. Breakfast radio show was on, and of course we heard more of the DJs talking than actual music. That morning topic was Nostalgia Street. It's an actual street name and listeners were asked to share their experiences (if any) about that street. It wasn't too interesting until this girl called up. Her boyfriend lived on Nostalgia Street in some part of Jakarta. Last night they had a fight and because she was upset, she brought up his past sins and infuriated the boyfriend. They broke up that moment. Half sobbing she said that she drove to her boyfriend's house the night before, waited there for a few hours trying to gather the nerve to come in and apologize. In the end, she didn't. She didn't dare to...

She also said that it was her boyfriend's habit to listen to the breakfast radio show and she was hoping that he could hear her plea. The DJs tried to call the boyfriend to get his side of the story but his phone was switched off. Nothing happened until the end of the show. Nobody knew what happened to the couple.

Today the borderline between the private and the public is becoming unclear. Is it because we celebrate our celebrities that we aspire to live our life like them? The celebrities need the public eye to contribute to their fame; and the commoners crave for the eyes to the rest of the world. Whatever happened to shyness? Low profile? In keeping the personal private?

On Signs

"All you have to do is pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step."

(Paulo Coelho, The Zahir)

PAUSE

When I thought about the title for this post, initially I was going to put BREAK. In the midst of our even busier lifestyle and life's crazy demands we often fell prey to running the motion, losing sight of what's really important. Somebody reminded me that many religions include a time to pause.

In the coming of Easter, Christians all around the world participate in lent. A time to remember and to evaluate desires, longings and things that should be important. A friend of mine chose to give up blogging; because it is the one thing she is addicted to. Another chose to give up smoking. When these persons decided on giving up something, they had taken the time to analyse their own falls in life.

For one month before celebrating their triumph in Idul Fitri, Muslims fast and spend those 30 days to devote their life to God.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that in order to pause one should follow a religion. I'm merely saying that pausing once in a while is good and important so we don't lose our way. When we pause we look at where we are: spiritually, physically, financially; we also look at how we relate to people who we think as important. And when we pause, keep track of the path we've walked -- the road travelled and the road ahead.

When was the last time you pause?

PASSION

Last weekend Jakarta had a big festival of music -- JAVA JAZZ FESTIVAL 2006. The line up included Bob James, Incognito, The Brand New Heavies, Lee Ritenour, Omar, Carleen Anderson, Chiara Chivello, Maliq n D'Essentials, Luluk Purwanto, Kool & The Gang, Hiromi, and many more. It was more than 1000 performers both local and international. I was privileged enough to attend 2 days out of the 3 days.

In the midst of gazillion people and cool music, one thing stood out the most. Passion. The tired faces of crew and organisers wondering around the complex -- god knows the many sleepless nights they've had; the brilliant performances and the dedicated audience. From that passion you get to learn about love. Love of life, love of the music, loving what they're doing. Great passion brings you far... And when you hear it in the air, feel it in every bone of your body, and listen to it constantly, life is so great, it's sooo worth living!